“Counselling is not a one-way process. It is, in fact, a dynamic two-way process with a counselor who listens, understands and tries to work with the client to reach the goal that the client has in mind.”
Are you someone who has heard a lot about counseling? Someone who is curious about counseling and wants to see what counseling is about? Has your curiosity made you want to try it but you are too scared because of stories you’ve heard from people? Well, if you can associate with the above, then you’re in the right place!
Many of us want to and sometimes need to go for counseling. You’ve heard too many nasty stories of what counseling did or didn’t do to a person and now you’re stuck because you really want/need it but are reluctant to take the chance. You may have also tried counseling and had a bad experience which has put you off it. What you are feeling and thinking is very normal. Your apprehensions are not uncommon. However, being in the situation that you are, understanding a bit about counseling and what a counselor does can help you make a decision and clarify the myths which surround counseling.
To begin with, counseling is a process of, to simply put it, communication. The better the communication, the better the counseling. It is a process in which the relationship formed between you and your counselor helps you develop more awareness and understand yourself better. Counseling is not a one-way process. It is, in fact, a dynamic two-way process with a counselor who listens, understands, and tries to work with the client to reach the goal that the client has in mind. Some of the questions and doubts about counseling that you may have heard of or thought of are:
1. Will the counselor know all my deepest darkest secrets?
The counselor will not know all your deepest darkest secrets unless you choose to disclose them. There is no compulsion whatsoever and you can decide what you want to share as and when you are comfortable with the counselor.
2. Will I be judged because of who and what I am?
No. One of the foundations of counseling is to not judge a person. Therefore a good counselor is one who will accept you for who you are and help you work on whatever is troubling you.
3. Why should I talk to someone I don’t know?
Choosing someone whom you don’t know to talk to can help you get an unbiased and objective understanding of things unlike talking to a friend or family member whose opinion of you will influence their suggestions/advice. A counselor is trained to help you with your struggles after taking the time to build a relationship with you and understand your perspectives.
4. How can I trust that the counselor won’t divulge my secrets?
Another foundation stone of counseling is trust and confidentiality. We understand that confidentiality is one of the most important aspects of counseling without which not much progress can be made. A counselor is ethically bound to not reveal anything you have divulged in your sessions to anyone else. Confidentiality can be broken only under a few circumstances, outside which action can be taken against the counselor for a breach of confidentiality.
5. Counselling is supposed to give me clear solutions to problems and I’ve never got a solution because I still have the problem.
Counseling is not a one-stop-shop for solutions though this is a common misconception about the purpose of counseling. Counseling helps provide useful information and insight into how we handle our situations and life in general. From this information, the client is given the strength to make his/her own decisions which are healthy and productive. It is the client and not the counselor who, at the end of counseling, comes up with a solution to their issue.
6. Counselling is only meant for people who are mad or abnormal. Why should I go?
Counseling is meant for any and everyone. Anyone who wishes to be heard, who needs some clarity on their life, relationships, and/or themselves can opt for counseling. Also, very importantly, counseling is not a crisis-oriented service where a client comes for counseling just because a problem has occurred.
7. Counsellors can use violence to “treat” people.
No. A counselor who uses violence to counsel is not a counselor at all.
8. They can read my mind, I feel unsafe!
No, counselors cannot read your mind. They can help you read and understand your own mind better.
9. Counselling is so expensive!
Different counseling organizations have different rates for counseling sessions. However, Talkitover’s counseling rates are decided keeping in mind the fact that counseling should be affordable and accessible to everyone.
10. Counselling takes a very long time.
Not necessarily. Counseling is a process marked not by time but by the quality and outcome of the sessions. The more efficiently the client and counselor work together, the earlier the sessions can be terminated. On average, clients can take anywhere between 4-20 sessions or more based on their needs.
11. Counselling will change who I am.
Not unless you want it to. It is very important to note that change lies not in the counselor’s hand but in your own.
12. Men don’t need counseling.
Counseling is not a gender-specific service. It caters to every human being because the motto of counseling is to not judge and be stereotypical but to be a universally helpful service!
The list of queries regarding counseling and counselors is endless and exhaustive. To understand more about counseling and counselors in a safe environment and get your questions answered, you can approach us at Talkitover.
